You swore you would never do it again- swore that was in the past, swore that you weren’t that person anymore, and then when you least expect it, you fall again. You fall back into that seemingly inescapable circle of doing the very things you hate. You’re frustrated, exhausted, and out of ideas- contemplating resigning yourself to this old life to which you are in bondage.
It doesn’t matter what it is- a bad habit, an addiction, a harmful relationship- we all have those things that we keep going back to. The things that we voluntarily enslave ourselves to. If you’re anything like me, it frustrates you to no end but you can’t seem to stop. You read self-help articles, you confess your problem to a few close friends, your thoughts are occupied with a search for a solution, and in an attempt to change you read articles like this one.
I’ve been there- in bondage. I tried it all. I had an addiction that caused me shame and guilt, but I couldn’t escape it. No checklist, no amount of rituals or habits could change the way I lived. But then I did change. It wasn’t easy, but it also wasn’t a lot of work in the sense of what we think work is. The way I changed was through a transformation of my mind. Romans 12:1 says, ” Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This is not some strange magical occurrence. You can’t force a transformation anymore than you can force yourself to stop thinking of an addiction.
A transformation of the mind comes through replacing the things you think about now with something else. Instead of focusing on your problem and how unsurmountable it seems, focus on something bigger than your problems. Don’t think of what you DON’T want to do, but rather what you DO want to do. I generalize this so that it can apply to everyone, but for me, the something that was bigger than my addiction was God, and I do truly believe that God is bigger than ANY problem for ANY person.
I made my life about pleasing God and focused on that ambition rather than focusing on what I was trying not to do. Eventually, I didn’t think about my addiction anymore. This is not to say that I wasn’t tempted. I am still tempted on a daily basis, but having this new mindset pushed the thought out of the forefront of my mind. I also must add that, while this process is not magical, it is supernatural. I couldn’t have done this without the strength of God whose strength is made perfect through my weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9)
One more thing: I most definitely DO NOT claim to have all the answers. I’m writing this post from the standpoint of a person who has changed but recently found herself giving back into temptation, voluntarily placing herself back in the chains of the sin that so easily ensnares us. BUT I realized my problem. My mindset is not where it should be. I don’t wake up thinking: “How can I please God today?” I wake up thinking, “How can I please myself today?” And when I’m not pleased, there goes my whole day and my whole mindset. I am back to square one desperately trying to please myself, and this is where I fall. But, I can get back up because I know I am forgiven and I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Phil. 4:13)
Rebekah in Real Life 